Ouranella
by Cookie to Seki na
Summary: Ouran decides to do a play on Cinderella, but the results aren't exactly as expected. Oneshot. Caution: Based off of crazy dream


**Okay, I dreamt this up during the day, so I guess I can't say I 'dreamt' it up. I thought it up. Anyway, I always thought it would be funny if this happened. I'm not sure if anybody's written about this yet, but I just needed to throw this out. This is technically NOT a romance, even though it sort of follows Cinderella. Think of it like the Alice in Wonderland parody that Bisco Hatori made, but replace it with Cinderella.**

"Class, we've decided to do a play on Cinderella," the teacher stated monotonously on one random afternoon. The class was in an uproar as the teacher had to shout at the top of his lungs to get them to shut up.

"Now, everyone, the entire school will be involved. As long as the students are within this school, they can play parts for the play." That sent the class into an even larger uproar as the teacher did nothing to stop them. They tore the sign-up sheet from his hands and soon, every blank space on the page was filled with a name to try out. Haruhi had decided on playing an evil step-sister or something, but the Hitachiin brothers beat her to it. That only left the option of Cinderella. Frankly, Cinderella was a hard place to get as every single girl seemed to be playing for the part. As the class rushed out at the bell, the teacher took the sign-up sheet and gathered with the rest of the teachers, comparing sheets.

"Haruhi! Did you try out for Cinderella?" The two twins asked, standing on either side of her as they walked the hallway.

"Yeah, but I don't think I'll get the part. I'm sure you guys get the part of the step sisters since nobody signed up for them anyway," Haruhi pointed out, earning her Cheshire grins from the two devils.

"It was the only part that incorporated both of us together," Kaoru pointed out to Haruhi, who just smiled knowingly. She knew they were going for that. They rarely ever did anything apart.

"I just hope…"

"What's that Haruhi?"

"Nothing, nevermind." They continued walking the hallway, until they met with a large crowd of students. They were crowded around a wall, and Haruhi had probably already guessed that the parts were already decided.

"That was fast…," Haruhi mumbled, being dragged through the crowd by the two brothers as they peered at the sheet. Haruhi turned as white as paper when she saw who was playing what. The list nearly made her soul fly out of her body.

"Oh, you got the part, Haruhi!" Hikaru said as he pointed to the paper. "Let's see…"

"Ah! Tono got the part of the prince! I should've expected him to," Kaoru said with a small laugh before he suddenly stopped. His brother and Haruhi both looked at the boy, his face showing absolute horror.

"Kaoru? What's wrong?" Hikaru asked dumbly as Kaoru tried to speak.

"That means…kissing…ugh," Kaoru mumbled before losing the ability to talk. Just then, it hit Hikaru what his brother was talking about.

"No way! Haruhi, you have to kiss Tono in the end!" Hikaru yelled out loud, causing a long silence to come upon the crowd. If Haruhi was pale before, now she was just colorless. The crowd began to murmur inexplicable words as they stared and pointed at Haruhi, whose soul had already left the building, only to be brought back down by the Shadow King himself.

"Haruhi, losing your soul isn't good, especially if you are to play Cinderella," Kyoya pointed out, joining the twins and Haruhi at the center of attention. Kyoya had gotten the part of the stepmother, of course.

"My dear daughter! Is it fate that we end up on two parts that clash together?" Tamaki asked, appearing from the crowd after losing some fawning girls. Haruhi groaned, mumbling about the kiss scene, hoping Tamaki wouldn't hear it. He did anyway. He started to turn red, though he wasn't too sure why.

"Tamaki, shouldn't you be happy? You get to kiss your daughter," Kyoya commented from the sidelines, almost teasing him. Tamaki's turn to become white came quickly as he became an empty shell right in the middle of the crowd. The twins were poking him with a stick as the crowd of girls nearby whispered to each other, obviously worried.

"Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai are playing the king and the king's servant? How fitting," Haruhi said, regaining the ability to think. She decided not to think about it, hoping they would cancel the play or something. The crowd had already dispersed, the host club had gone home, and Haruhi decided to just go with the flow.

Weeks of practice passed by, many times the cast didn't cooperate very well, and the play was finally complete. The student body who wasn't in the play were the audience, as well as several parents. There were many bodyguards in the audience, as well as butlers and such. Figures. The stage was set and the audience was talking to one another. The red velvety curtains opened as the narrator told the story.

"Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived a young girl named Cinderella, who—somebody scribbled something on here—was definitely a guy, what the hell?" The narrator boy questioned the director, but only got a sign that said to continue. The audience was whispering, wondering what this was about. The play still had yet to start, too!

"Ahem! Anyway, this young girl(who was a guy!) was very beautiful, but she had two horrible step-sisters and a stepmother who tortured her with menial commoner chores." The crowd seemed to gasp in shock as Haruhi, in rags, appeared with a broom and began to sweep. The problem: She didn't really look miserable enough.

"You need to look miserable, Fujioka!" The director whispered harshly as Haruhi let out a little sound and began to scrunch her face up, trying to look miserable. It worked. Out from backstage stepped the Hitachiin twins, who were wearing—gentlemen suits?

"Haru—I mean, Cinderella! Work harder! I want to see my face on the floor when you're done!" Kaoru said, his voice betraying his words as Haruhi stopped her sweeping to give him a "what?" look on her face.

"Kaoru! That's not even possible!" Haruhi broke out of line as Kaoru apologized profusely, ruining his character two seconds after his appearance. Hikaru decided to step in.

"Haruhi! Just sweep the damn floor! You ARE our chore boy!" Hikaru pointed out, trying to stay in character. The crowd was starting to get a bit confused. The narrator was fumbling with his papers as he searched the script for it.

"This isn't in the script!" The narrator whispered to himself and the director, who just shrugged.

"Just keep going!" The director shot back, who earned a nod from the boy.

"Er…Cinderella's two step—uh, what are they?—brothers had gotten dressed to attend a ball at Prince…um…Tamaki's castle. They didn't want Cinderella coming, so they didn't tell her about it." The stage still showed Haruhi sweeping, wiping sweat from her forehead, and smiling to herself once she had accomplished. Suddenly, Kyoya, who was wearing—his casual clothing? What the hell? Anywa, Kyoya walked out and stared at Haruhi, who was working and smiling to herself.

"Haruhi, you need to at least pretend you're being tortured, not enjoying it."

"But sweeping is something I do all the time! It isn't exactly torture," Haruhi shot back.

"I'll raise your debt by 100,000 yen if you continue to resist," Kyoya threatened, which got Haruhi to work and pretend to be miserable again. The narrator seemed to motion something to them as they finally got the message.

"Well, we're off to Prince Tamaki's ball, so stay here and clean, alright?" Kyoya flashed his charming grin, which Haruhi and the host club knew as a very scary smile, and stepped off stage to the back.

"Yeah, you wanna come, Haruhi?" Hikaru offered, but was dragged off by his brother, who told him they weren't supposed to invite her along. Haruhi sweatdropped as the crowd was now in a sort of uproar. The director was easily angered, so it was no wonder why he was turning bright red and steaming from his ears and nose. Haruhi didn't notice as she just continued sweeping for five minutes, causing the crowd to get bored and confused. Haruhi decided then to remember her lines.

"Oh, right! Um, I really wish I could've gone to that—what did they say it was again? Oh—ball at Prince Tamaki's castle!" Haruhi faked a faint, but she failed horribly as her acting skills absolutely sucked. The whole time, she had said the lines like a robot. The crowd almost covered their ears at the 

horrible acting. Suddenly, Renge appeared in a fairy godmother costume, floating above the floor by use of invisible wires.

"Ohohohoho! Dear Cinderella, you wish to go to that ball where that good for nothing prince Tamaki is?" Renge said, causing Haruhi to look at her funny.

"That's close enough," The director managed as the students behind the set had to fan him down.

"Uh, not really." Apparently, Haruhi only stated the obvious. Renge, who had not been paying attention, decided to continue her lines anyway.

"Then bring me some rats and a pumpkin! I will create for the greatest, most extravagant carriage available on the market!" Apparently, Renge wasn't good with lines either. Haruhi raised her hands up in defense.

"But I really don't want to go." Renge was having nothing of that. Suddenly, Mori as a giant rat and Hunny as a pumpkin walked out on stage.

"Look, Haru-chan! I'm a werewolf!" Hunny yelled, which got a couple of giggles from the audience.

"Ah, Hunny-senpai, you're a pumpkin, not a werewolf,"Haruhi pointed out. Apparently this play thing wasn't working out.

"Oh! Well, I'm going to become a carriage! Right Takashi?" Hunny was jumping up and down in his giant pumpkin costume as the audience laughed at his antics.

"Yeah." Renge had already floated over, waved her wand and made sparklys appear as Hunny and Mori switched their costumes. Mori pulled the costume off and dashed backstage, replacing himself with two real white horses. Hunny and pushed a carriage out onto the stage as Haruhi stared at the two things, marveling both of them.

"What the—" but Haruhi was cut off when Renge had spun her around and changed her clothing into a beautiful evening gown, making the crowd gasp in awe at her beauty. Before another word could be uttered from her mouth, Renge had already pushed her into the carriage and the carriage slowly moved backstage. The curtains closed while they were switching scenes.

"So, the fairy godmother granted Cinderella her desires, and she was off to the ball to meet Prince Tamaki. The carriage was speedy, so she made it there early enough to see her step-brothers walking in with her step—er—father." The narrator was growing a bit frustrated at the change of names.

"Oh, look! Haruhi made it!" Hikaru shouted, but was shushed by Kyoya.

"Raised by 1000 yen," Kyoya mumbled, pulling his black notebook out from nowhere and writing it down.

"EH?!" Haruhi nearly shouted. An outrage! Her debt went up because she attended the ball for a stupid play?!

"Haruhi, I thought we told you to stay and do chores!" Kaoru tried to get the play back on track, but Haruhi was always there to derail it again.

"Renge made me go. I didn't actually want to."

"Oh." Silence consumed them as they stepped into the new stage, where Hunny and Mori were there with Tamaki as a bunch of random prop students were dancing with each other. Tamaki instantly floated over to Haruhi, prepared to move onto their dance together.

"Ah, Tono! You can't have Haruhi!" Hikaru shouted, standing and guarding Haruhi as the crowd was confused once more, even though they were on the edge of their seats at the drama that was unfolding.

"Yeah, dance with us instead!" Kaoru yelled, trying to keep in line, but just got odd stares. Tamaki was in tears, trying to get Haruhi from the hands of the twins.

"Mother! Tell Haruhi's brothers to stop harassing me!" Tamaki cried to Kyoya, who just readjusted his glasses and wrote something down in his notebook.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now share a kiss!" Hunny shouted from the background throne while Mori just agreed in his silent way.

"Eh?! You skipped a whole bunch of parts!" Haruhi complained as Tamaki turned red, turning to Hunny and looking at him like he was deranged. The crowd was murmuring to everyone else as the director and the stage workers were starting to sweat.

"Yeah, why does Haruhi have to marry Tono?" Hikaru protested, much to everyone's surprise. Everyone waited for him to say anything else, but he didn't.

"Because I am her father and I will not have her marrying her brother!" Tamaki fought back as they both were engrossed in their little fight. Haruhi was trying to block them all out, but it failed.

"That's still considered incest if the father marries his daughter! " Hikaru yelled back. Kyoya was scribbling something in his black notebook as Hunny munched happily on cake while Mori accompanied him, watching him eat.

"So, uh, the prince and Cinderella got married and lived happily ever after?" The narrator tried nervously, but his attempts were futile.

"You shut up!" Hikaru yelled as he whacked the narrator out of the park with a baseball bat he carried with him. The arguing carried on as the audience was starting to just go with the flow. They all just watched as if they knew what was going on. Sadly, nobody knew what was going on anymore.

"Ergh, I'm going home," Haruhi announced to nobody in particular before shuffling off the stage and towards the door. Everyone from the host club noticed this and followed her.

"Haruhi! Wait! Daddy'll come with you!"

"Haruhi! Come back"

"Haru-chan! Let's go Takashi!"

"Yeah."

"Well, parents and student body, we thank you for coming to the play. We hope you enjoyed it while it lasted and we also hope, to the student body, that you will visit the Third Music Room during your spare time and take time to look at our merchandise." Kyoya was the last to walk away as the crowd was left with an opened curtain and no more actors. They did the one thing they knew how to in this situation: They clapped.

**One Week Later**

"Our sales have gone up ever since last week. The play has benefited us greatly," Kyoya pointed out, reading through the notes in his black notebook. Haruhi just groaned as she had the most customers, and they were the craziest too.

"I don't care! I just feel like going home now," Haruhi grumbled, hoping that nobody would still be trying to question her.

"I propose that we should advertise ourselves more."

"What are you—oh no! You aren't thinking what I think you're thinking, right?"

"If you think that I am suggesting we do another play, then yes, you are thinking of what I'm thinking."

"NO!"

**Yes, I'm just that messed up. I always imagined it happening, though it'd be funnier animated and with different quotes, but I tried. My thoughts were slightly different, but not so far off. Also, I didn't include many names because I forgot a lot of them. Yes, there were no pairings unless you really look into it.**


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